The problem of integration: the greatest tragedy of learning

What is the problem of integration? Why is the problem of integration a problem? Call to action: let's work on solving this problem What is the problem of integration? If you're like me, you're learning all the time. You value self-improvement, always looking for ways to improve your quality of life. Happiness is a project … Continue reading The problem of integration: the greatest tragedy of learning

On the limits of empathy

We all want to be understood. We want someone there for us to give us a pat on the back and tell us, "I know what you're going through. I feel for you."That's possible to have with people, but don't expect it all the time. So, don't get too upset if you're not being understood. Empathy is imperfect. Here are two main reasons to remember...

On vulnerability

Being vulnerable is about being unfiltered in the expression of your feelings and thoughts. When you're sad, when you're happy, when you have a burning thought, you express it. However, being vulnerable doesn't mean being an asshole who spews out profanities or crude comments or viciousness. Being vulnerable, or true unfiltered expression, is calm because your feelings and thoughts flow cleanly out. There's no mental acrobatics required...

On being prepared for death

Live in such a way that if you died tomorrow, you would die happy. If I died tomorrow, I would want to die holding my romantic partner and enjoying his presence. What I'm proposing is not a plea to check off your bucket list as soon as possible. This is an exercise in reminding yourself of the things that really matter. In the normal daily grind, worry, anxiety, fear arise mostly from the desire for a better future. We all want something that we don't currently have, and...

On using simple language in conversation

We use language to communicate our ideas and feelings to another person. Whether I'm trying to explain the concept of a flying car (an idea) or how groggy I feel in the morning (a feeling), the goal is to transfer what's going inside you and put it inside someone else. You want them to understand the idea you have or feel the feeling you felt; language is the bridge away from loneliness. When language succeeds...