The problem of integration: the greatest tragedy of learning

What is the problem of integration? Why is the problem of integration a problem? Call to action: let's work on solving this problem What is the problem of integration? If you're like me, you're learning all the time. You value self-improvement, always looking for ways to improve your quality of life. Happiness is a project … Continue reading The problem of integration: the greatest tragedy of learning

How to solve any life problem: the athlete theory to life

It's easy to solve your life problems. But life problems feel hard, so we expect a complicated solution. The only hard thing about solving life problems is keeping them solved (or habits). CONCLUSION: Think of yourself as an athlete, not a scientist. It's easy to solve your life problems. Most of the secrets to solving … Continue reading How to solve any life problem: the athlete theory to life

The paradox of perfectionism: the value of sucking

Imagine you're an amateur singer about to go on stage for your first-ever performance. You're really nervous. You want to sound good. You want people to like you. If you're a perfectionist though, you can end up psyching yourself out so much wanting to sound good that your nerves get the best of you. Your voice cracks up, you can't hold a note, you sing out of tune, you forget your words. You're so nervous about doing good that you end up doing badly...

On the limits of empathy

We all want to be understood. We want someone there for us to give us a pat on the back and tell us, "I know what you're going through. I feel for you."That's possible to have with people, but don't expect it all the time. So, don't get too upset if you're not being understood. Empathy is imperfect. Here are two main reasons to remember...

On vulnerability

Being vulnerable is about being unfiltered in the expression of your feelings and thoughts. When you're sad, when you're happy, when you have a burning thought, you express it. However, being vulnerable doesn't mean being an asshole who spews out profanities or crude comments or viciousness. Being vulnerable, or true unfiltered expression, is calm because your feelings and thoughts flow cleanly out. There's no mental acrobatics required...

On being prepared for death

Live in such a way that if you died tomorrow, you would die happy. If I died tomorrow, I would want to die holding my romantic partner and enjoying his presence. What I'm proposing is not a plea to check off your bucket list as soon as possible. This is an exercise in reminding yourself of the things that really matter. In the normal daily grind, worry, anxiety, fear arise mostly from the desire for a better future. We all want something that we don't currently have, and...

On using simple language in conversation

We use language to communicate our ideas and feelings to another person. Whether I'm trying to explain the concept of a flying car (an idea) or how groggy I feel in the morning (a feeling), the goal is to transfer what's going inside you and put it inside someone else. You want them to understand the idea you have or feel the feeling you felt; language is the bridge away from loneliness. When language succeeds...

On the problems with the Information Age

When stories were shared by word of mouth in Ancient Greece, people memorized entire books like The Iliad as a testament to their love of those stories. Information was scarcer during Ancient Greece, so beloved stories were given greater attention and care. Devout Muslims for a similar reason memorize the Koran. To them, the Koran is the only true source of information handed down by Allah. However, in the information-drowned world we currently find ourselves...